Falling In Love

It is a mystery why we fall in love.
It is a mystery how it happens.
It is a mystery when it comes.
It is a mystery why some love grows.
And it is a mystery why some love fails.
You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you
will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience. Just as
life itself is more that the sum of the bones and muscles and electrical
impulses in the body, love is more that the sum of the interest and
attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life
itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of
love must be taken as unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of love
will come to you in full flower, and you will take hold of it and celebrate
it in all expressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often,
it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.
When this happens to young people, they too often try to grasp the love and hold
it to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that is freely and a gift that just as
freely, moves away.
When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love
leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than
accepting the gift for what its was, then moving on.
They want answers where there are no answers.
They want to know what is wrong in them that make the other person
no longer want them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some
small things were different, love would bloom again.
They blame the circumstances and say that if they go far away and start
a new life together, their love will grow.
They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is
no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept it. You need to
treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with
someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing
wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart.
If you find someone else in love with you and you don’t love him, feel honored
that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you
cannot return. Do not take advantage; do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how
you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives
and ways are different.


If you fall in love with another, and he falls in love with you, and then love
then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame.
Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.
Remember that you don’t choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really
do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.
Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who
deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around in anyway you can.


Here is where many lovers go wrong.
Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need.
They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they
begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them.
The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they
revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates
love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret
of love is that it is a gift, and it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own
seasons, and its own reason for coming and going.
You cannot bribe it, coerce it, or reason it to staying.

You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.
But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there
is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.

Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad that it came to live
for a moment in your life.